His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize