I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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