Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
