I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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