just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
why is half of my head shaved?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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