there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
