Pappa wants mamma naked
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
