The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
