it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
