SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize