So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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