LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
