i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I want her autograph on my taint
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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