God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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