I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
