I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
