I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
