I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
