Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
