Where did you get a picture of my penis
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
