we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize