I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize