Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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