Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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