So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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