Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
