I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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