all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
