So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
