She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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