She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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