U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
