So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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