margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
