grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
