Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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