Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
