I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We named our party play list daddy issues
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
