Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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