Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
