so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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