im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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