If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize