so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You took a bar mat shot.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
