Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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