I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
pray to the hookup gods
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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