I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
