How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
