i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize