Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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