I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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