this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
