I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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