this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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