He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize