Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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