she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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